How I Deal With My Fears

Anxiety comes in many forms. It's not always a racing heart and sweating face. For me, it's more than often tears welling up in my eyes uncontrollably. And at other times, it's unwanted rage over people that triggered my anxiety.

People on the internet that read about mental health issues know why a person behaves the way they do but people in real life are not as aware of people's reactions. So, I have been called out a lot for crying so much.

Later, my tears took the form of anger when people started questioning why I cry so much and that I needed to 'control' and learn how to not cry at little things. Well, a very helpful suggestion. My tears still betray me but thanks to their 'advice', anger is just an add-on now.

I have always had just one outlet to pour my emotions—pen and paper. I have hardly ever trusted people in life. Now, too, I trust a few of my internet friends and that's it. 

So, I learned what journaling is only like 4 or 5 years ago but my connection to journals goes back to my childhood. I didn't have words as a child, but I did have emotions. So I used to scribble a lot in my notebooks, filling pages and pages with curved lines and wavy handwriting. Those scribbles could never be read or deciphered, not even by myself. That's my safest way to vent.

Let's discuss some of the ways in which I deal with my emotions and especially, fears. These all include either pen or paper or phone and earphones.

• Letters To God

There are quite a number of poems in my book Poetic Letters To God based on fears and anxiety. It's my most reliable way to get over my fears because, for me, there's no power but God. When I know that God is in control, it takes all the burden off my shoulders. Letters To God are my way of talking to God, you can simply just close your eyes and talk in your heart to the higher power that you believe in.

I know that God already knows everything about us, but talking to God still provides a lot of relief. I rely on God because God knows us the best. People around me are humans, just like me, and they can't read minds. So, I just let them do whatever they feel is right.

When I was small (and often even now), I didn't write in proper words, I used to scribble in notebook while my heart did the talking. Now, other than writing a little letter to God each night before sleeping, I write poems to God.

You may learn more about why I write Letters To God here.

• Poetry

Nothing helps me express my emotions better than poetry. I almost always write freestyle poetry because then my flow of emotions is not disturbed by the need to fit verses in a particular form.

Poetry is your secret keeper. It encodes your emotions, your stories into verses that only people who know you well can decode. It helps me release all the bottled up emotions and bring in pure joy. It takes my pain away like it belongs to her.

• Morning Pages (or Journaling)

Morning pages are 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing... writing anything and everything that comes to your mind. I fill my pages with comforting words of reassurance and remind myself that what's meant for me is never going to get away from me.

I use affirmations, often talk to God in between the lines, and keep telling myself that the fears are just illusions and God is in control. Affirmations are really effective when we believe in what we're writing even if they contradict our present circumstances. 

• Music or Podcasts

When I need comfort not from writing but hearing things I need to hear, I switch to music that uplifts me or I listen to motivating podcasts. No, not the podcasts motivating me to rise up, hustle, and chase the goals. But the ones that remind me that fears exist only in our head and they can be overcome with a little faith and patience.

• Internet Friends

Blessed is the time when I met my best friend on Twitter. We bonded like no one else and her presence (on texts) itself is enough to make me go through any situation. She taught me how to listen without ANY judgements. I can expect judgements from anyone but her no matter how weird I have been.

And besides her, my other internet friends have been nothing but a blessing. They have always had my back. And I hope I have done the same for them too. I know I can always count on them and they'll be there.

Since emotional support is all I have ever needed, I don't need people to be physically present around me. They are just a text away and it's all I could ever ask for or I ever needed.

• Creating Art

I keep trying my hands at different forms of art (that has anything to do with stationery). Whether it's junk journaling, watercoloring, or even random doodles, art is always ready to embrace me in its arms and shift all my focus from fears to the pure joy of creating.

I'm not good at many art forms but it's just so much fun to create art only for your eyes and not wonder if it's good or bad. Making art for the fun of it, and not burden oneself with the pain of perfection.

I also love stationery shopping, which I sometimes do when I am stressed but I know that's not healthy so I try to avoid that option. Hoarding makes me even more stressed later.

I would love to know how you guys deal with your fears, worries, and anxiety. I shared mine so that even if one of these ways is useful to, at least, one of you, my purpose will be served.

Take care of yourself. People won't always understand you, but you need to understand yourself and know what works best for you.

Let's connect on Instagram at @meetlife240

Download my free Letters To God Workbook here